Nightfall

Recently I picked this book "Nightfall" by Isaac Asimov and Robert Silverberg from the library. I must have read 50 some pages only. But the story is very captivating so far. It is a fiction narration of a story on a planet with 4-5 or even more suns.


There is no night at all in this land with one or the other sun always shining in the sky. I can imagine how hot it must be for people living in a place like that. More interestingly, I find time to read only when I am in the Sauna. The temperature in there always shooting hundreds.
So it will not be wrong to say that I feel the story while I read it too.


More on it once I finish reading the book.




[June 9 '09] - Finished reading the book and I can definitely say that I am happy I came across this book and picked it up from the library. I remember I was looking for the book frantically for quite sometime and nearly gave up the thought of looking further. But somehow got drawn towards an aisle of books which was the SF section. And that was exactly what I was looking for.
The story is very well written; this is the only the second SF I have read after Michael Chrichton's Timeline. And I was completely drawn by its narration, the characters and ofcourse the story. The way a known, common fact of nightfall is made a devastation to the people who never saw darkness before is simply superb.

The story is about a civilization on a planet called Kalghash where there is no night. Every day there are 1-5 suns varying light beaming across the wide sky. People there have never known darkness; they go completely crazy when the planet experiences an eclipse and they see the stars for the very first time.
The characters in the story are interesting and while the authors narrates each of their stories separately, seamlessly they roll into the mainstream story line. Every character becomes alive in the mystic way.

I felt that the ending could have been extended. May be I felt this way cos I wanted to keep reading.

Thanks to people on Friendfeed; I picked the book from one of the 'best books' discussions.

Give others benefit of the doubt

Do you come across a situation in life where your problem seems the biggest one in the whole universe? You expect people around you to feel the tension for you but no one seems to understand how grave the situation is? You disagree to give up and do not let the situation take over you. You know things will work out and are positive all the while.


But that never meant that there is no botheration. You are strong but there are times when hope weakens and the tunnel seems endless? But that very moment someone feels sorry for you, sympathizes for you and that leaves you feeling shaky?


I have been in this situation; I would rather say I am in this situation right now. Since September 08, I have been staying away from my husband; we meet once or twice a month; spending most of our time traveling for hours feeling the hit on time, energy and of course our relationship.

Here I am doing all I can to be on top of the situation, but then comes a moment when I get affected by what people say or do. Some close friend feels sorry for me or someone whom I expect to help does not. The whole ‘why me’ and ‘how long will this take’ feeling takes over me.


Don’t feel sorry for me because I am not. Help me if you can.


I know it is up to me to get affected by remarks by people or just ignore them. May be they are weaker than me or they are just trying to be good by empathizing with me. And if someone does not want to help me, may be they are at loss themselves because they are missing out on an opportunity to serve and make a difference in somebody’s life. Or may be they just don’t feel for you and are too busy in their self-centered life.

More than the problem itself, what bothers more is dealing with emotions that arise as a result of such actions I don’t expect.


Today I approached a colleague to help me find out about my positioning in a project that would work out for me and Navin to be together. From my perspective, right now that is the biggest issue I need to solve. But I never realized that that very person, who acknowledges that I am in deep trouble, does not even offer to help in anyway.


Trouble is like a deep well, when you are in it, you feel that’s the world and cannot think out of it. And same thing is happening to me. I know those who show sympathy are my friends and want good for me. But somehow I am not able to control my energy which ends up as depression. Those who cannot help, I am sure they have their own reasons behind it. But somehow I am not able to control my energy which ends up as anger.


I am not doing justice to my spiritual self. My mind makes logical interpretations and always try to keep others at fault. But my conscience knows that you should always give others the benefit of the doubt. Like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says, being aware of the problem is half the problem solved. I will try to be calm and aware next time and always give others the benefit of the doubt.

Don't be a Monkey

Religion! Why did man need religion? Ok... I know most of the people will pounce on me if I ask this question and will have tons of reasons to prove that religion is an important part of human existence. But is it really? More importantly what part of the religion is?

Every religion has varied symbols and rituals; but almost of them have one thing is common and that is the Human Values.

But then, why does one have to prove that Hinduism is the way of life, or Mohammad is the true teacher or Jesus is the only truth? If religion helps you in your life, good for you. But don't go to help others at the cost of discriminating someone else s religion. Learn human values first. Learn to accept people with their religion and traditions and beliefs. If someone does not perform Lord Krishna pooja that does not make him less devoted. If someone does not read Quran that does not make him less lovable. If someone does not bow to a Cross, that does not make him less human.

It often leaves me wondering how different religions were born and followed for hundreds and thousands of years. I am amazed by the way people have carried their beliefs down from generations to generations and still do. I respect all religions and have no personal prejudice that any one is lower or superior than the other. But why don't all humans accept each others religions and live in harmony?

This small story comes to mind.
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.

Please don't be like these monkeys and follow blindly. Make correct judgments and respect and love all humans like your own.

Interesting Conversation

I was in the Sauna today, eyes closed feeling my sweat dripped down my nose. Suddenly I got distracted by two lovely ladies talking and I started enjoying their conversation.

Hey... after long time I saw you in the gym! How have you been after your knee operation?' says the younger one.
'Oh, the knee? I have that next in line. I just got my hip replaced'. Says the other. Well, I could not stop from opening my eyes.

In India I heard stories of grandmothers hurting their hips in very very old age like 75+ and after that they are bed ridden. But here I see one such grandmother... hip replaced? And she is in the gym? in a swimming costume? in the sauna?

One of the ladies was in her fifties may be and the other older, well you should guess her age. Wait till I tell the story.

Younger Lady - 'But I thought you told me about your knee?'
Older Lady - 'Yes I did. But my doctor said I need to fix my hip first' and she raises her hands making a funny face with an expression of - what can I say? I noticed a mark near her hip, a deep long scar from her operation I knew.

Older Lady - '6 months back I had booked my flight to Germany and was to travel in couple of days. That evening I tried standing up and just could not stand. My daughter came down and took me to emergency. I was there for 1 week. The doctor was very good.'
She points to me seeing how curiously I was listening to her.

Older Lady - 'Are you an Indian? My doctor was an Indian too. She even helped me get my money back from Lufthansa. How could I travel in two days? She helped produce proofs that it was impossible for me to travel to Germany. Normally the airlines keep part of the money but they gave me everything. Everything! Tickets are very expensive you know, 800-850. Got whole amount. Right now I told the doctor, I need a break.'

Younger Lady - 'Break? From what?'

Older Lady - 'From hospitals, operations, therapies! Recently my son looked at flight tickets and they were approx 400. Half the price!' and she smiles with amazement. 'You know, whatever bad happens, has a good side to it too'

And she slowly put both her feet on the bench. From her movement it seemed that she was not very flexible. They talked about her knee for sometime. From their conversations, I could figure out that they were gym buddies; you know how you meet same people every time you go to gym and they become your friends? Wonder how I don't have any yet?

Younger Lady - 'Why don't you use a cane?'
Older Lady - 'My sister died two years back and she had two canes. My niece said that I use one and other she would keep.'

Younger Lady - 'Why didn't you take it? Are you looking to have boyfriends?' And both started laughing out load.
Older Lady - 'No! I don't need boyfriends.' She turned to me; she knew she had a new audience now and said, 'I don't have time for them.' And we all laughed.

Younger Lady - 'You will make your knee worse if you don't use it'.
Older Lady - 'You got it right on that one. The cane is in Germany. I will get it when I go next.'
Younger Lady - 'You can buy here itself.'
Older Lady - 'Then I need to buy two. One for outside and one at home. How can I use the same at home? Who will wash them every time?'

Younger Lady - 'You get those twist and turn types where you simply turn in such a way that you can use same one for home without washing.'
Older Lady - 'You got it right on that one.'

This whole conversation may sound just like any other but I was pretty amazed by the old lady who just had an operation few months back and was back to the gym. Her going to the gym itself was little shocking to me. A cultural shock more than anything. At one instance she told her age as 78. Are you kidding me?

Can I even imagine one of my 78 year old relative in her place? As you turn 60-65, people put their hands up and retire. Not just from professional work, but from everything else too. Their knees hurt, their back hurt, they can't climb stairs no longer, they can't cook no longer unless absolutely essential. They don't like to socialize; they believe their so called time for fun is up! And it is not just the old; the young feel the same too. We need maids to do the chores, we hate walking to a store, we just want to sit in front of the TV, eat, talk and relax after work. As I sat there admiring her courage and the way she took care of herself, I hoped secretly that if I live till 78, I be as active as her.

Older Lady - 'You know I traveled to Germany every year. Even two times a year sometimes. All by myself and soon I am going to plan my next visit.'
Younger Lady - 'You should ask your children to accompany you this time tough. You know, it is not the same.'
Older Lady - 'You got it right on this one. My son said, "Mother, I will take you to Germany, you cannot go alone". '

Soon, I saw her lie down on the bench enjoying the Sauna bath. I was afraid she may fall down and may hurt her hip again. May be this is our basic Indian mentality? We are cautious about everything. Sometimes over cautious.

I left for a swim and what do I see? In some time, I see the same old lady doing some aerobic exercises in the pool lane next to mine. She even started swimming for short distances; even did a couple of backstrokes.

She got it right this time! Hats off to the youngster in the old one.

Art of Living - Part 2 - My Experience

|| राधे राधे गोविन्द राधे || राधे राधे गोपाल राधे ||

What happened to me? Why am I chanting bhajans? Don't be afraid... I have not gone insane :) But seriously! this is what I was singing as I drove the snow washed roads on my way back from the Art of Living Part 2 course this evening. My car stereo system stopped working and today for the first time, it did not bother me! The cracking windshield wipers gave me company and played along as I sang the song.

I had my own apprehensions as I signed myself up for the course. To add to it all, my project got over couple of days before the day of Part 2... I had almost made up my mind to not go for the course. I was calling up and emailing friends, colleagues, project managers, anyone possible who could help me find a project. I had a feeling of helplessness and desperation run through me. My mind was not at peace at all.
My teachers Nitadi and Medhadi forced me into the course saying it is just a matter of 2 days. Instead of spending time crying about the whole situation, you can attend this course which you have anyway registered for. So I finally decided to go for it.

So, here I am back from the course today. I had a GREAT time... believe me. If I am given a chance, I will do it again. I sang, I danced, I met most beautiful people who have given their lives to others service, heard people talk of their experiences and of course, I went into silence as part of the session... for 3 days!!!

Day one... I wanted to run away. You know, for some people their own company can be awkward. I am one of them. But like S.S. Ravi Shankar (Guruji) says, if you don't like your own company how can anyone else like you as company? :) I wonder, how they do?

Not talking, being all by yourself? I thought it would be easy for me. I was living all by myself for 6 months after Navin had to go away for project. But little I knew, I was wrong. It was not easy at all. I needed some distraction to help me go through that silence when I was at home. TV, books, friends, gym, cooking or something else. The moment I did not have those distractions, I felt weak, I cried. That was another reason I moved with a friend to another apartment.

But the days to follow in the course were absolutely peaceful and worth every word unspoken, every breath taken, every thought read. I cannot express myself in words because I know I will not do justice if I put it into words.
Meditation was the toughest part of all. So many thoughts, so many distractions, human mind is so vast and so restless. But as days passed by, I was able to decide what thoughts I want in my mind. That was the coolest part! I used to lie down and just be aware of what is happening around and soon I realized it was more than 1-2 hours since I had closed my eyes.

One funny incident - We just finished one meditation session and were asked to lie down if we felt like. I loved this part of the session where we could simply lie down and do nothing :P Soon I heard people gather for Satsang; this is where everyone sang and danced to music. After Satsang, people started dispersing to go home. I did not wear a watch and did not have a cell phone either so I could never tell what time it was. I wondered why the hell are people going home? What about dinner?!!! Let me tell you, the last 3 days I have had the most delicious food ever. EVER! I never knew vegetarian food could taste that good. Everyday, I waited for the lunch and dinner times. Specially dinner, because it included a desert and sometimes even two deserts.
Now, here I was waiting for dinner. I ran to the dinning area just to see whats going on. Slowly I whispered to one of the participants. 'Did everyone have dinner?' A small secret... this was the time I broke my silence :P I did not even realize I did, until the person responded with hand gestures that dinner was done! What? No way. I ran to my teacher who was talking to a bunch of people. I had to interrupt and wrote her a note saying, can I have some dinner, I was sleeping then. And then I ran back to the dining hall.
I knew it was very late then and may be 3 hrs since the food was served. Normally, I would never have asked for food. I am a shy person and going to organizers for food specially when it was my mistake that I was not following the instructions, would have been humiliating. But at the moment I was hungry and food was what I wanted :) Come what may! hehe. I am glad I went back to the storage area and had dinner. They had carrot cake that day which was awesome!

Btw, talking of Satsang, it reminds me of the time where people started dancing like it was a party! One of the Art of Living teacher started doing a rap dance step. haha... what fun!

Each one of us were asked to write a letter to oneself, whatever we felt like, whatever advice we may want to give to ourselves or anything we felt like writing. I will share that here. That should tell what I felt about the whole thing.

"You are"... and that is all you have, now and forever. Respect your existence and love your presence. Your body will become earth one day but you will continue to be. Stress and anxiety are only some of the many emotions you have experienced. Let them not take any portion of your existence on earth hereafter. Calm your mind in such times and always be happy and content. You have some of the most beautiful moments and experiences to witness. Embrace every moment wholeheartedly and with a smile. Come what may. Jai Guru Dev!

I met different kinds of people; some old, some not so old, some young, Indians, non-Indians. I loved the experiences everybody shared. I specially loved the one by a girl who told her experience during meditation. She was pregnant and told how she and her baby enjoyed every moment. Whenever she felt sleepy, or lost in some other thought, she felt her baby kick her and got her right back into meditation. I thought that was very sweet and touching.

We were showed some of Guruji's inspirational talk videos. I liked this one - In anything we do, we may face hardships and challenges but those are simply to test our convictions. If you believe in something, it will happen. No matter what.

So now... do I believe in Yoga and Meditation? Personally, I feel yoga, pranayams and meditation has taught me to stay grounded, calm and more human. I believe and trust in what has helped millions of people worldwide and for thousands of years in history. At the end of the course, we participants referred to the inspirational talks, the courses, and the meditations as the Guruji Stuff! It got the YO element to it. Even in these modern times, if people can adhere to and take advantage of the many benefits the Vedas and the scriptures have to offer, in simple form like this, it is great.

Art of living organization has helped me meet people who believe in peace and togetherness. I have met some people whom I love and respect because of their devotion, nature and service. I would have never come across so many people anytime in my lifetime. I thank the organization and S.S. Ravi Shankar to have given me that opportunity.

Art of Living - Part 2 Course

I will be doing my part 2 course in few days and so I thought it would be a good idea to put down my thoughts and apprehensions before I go into the course. I want to re-visit them when I am back and want to see if anything has really changed.

I hear so much from people who have done part 2, about this course and how it has been a life changing experience. But right now I don't expect anything as big as changing my life. I think I am a very level-headed person. Like I always say, I don't get accustomed to any change easily, so I don't see how a 3 day class can be life changing. I am not being negative here, or not supportive of the Art of Living idea but I feel there is very less I may want to change for good right now. I think I am already as good as I can be :)

When I went for the Part 1 course in October of 2008 (last year) I thought it would be a good experience to learn meditation and also get a chance to know what all the hype was about. After I did the part 1, more than me, my husband Navin found a difference in the way I approached everything thereafter. He thinks I have become more passionate and expressive and started enjoying life and worrying less. I don't agree as much but I did realize one thing. All the people who attended the course 1 were from varying backgrounds, had varying lifestyles, talked different languages, followed different religions, some very rich, others barely meeting ends meet, some with big egos and others very friendly.
But when we all sat in that room, we were all humans. We all realized that even though we come from different paths of life, we all were made of the same life elements mind, body, breath and soul. After that I have never had any awkward moment to approach anyone. Money, religion, color, lifestyles, or job positions have never made me think of people differently. I was now able to connect with people easily. I was more passionate about the work I loved and appreciated others without passing judgments.

Now here I am, waiting to learn about part 2. I hear students don't talk for the time the course is going on. Spending even a day without talking scares me. I think it will be boring. I myself don't talk much but doesn't mean I enjoy keeping quiet for days. Interesting I guess!, time will tell.
How will a student ask a question? How will someone indicate they want to use the rest room? Or find the way out to a room? Or ask when is the lunch time? Or share room with others without communicating? May end up being a circus; hope I don't end up being a joker in the circus :)

Part 2 is all about learning about oneself, of dwelling within yourself and getting all questions answered. But seriously, I don't have any questions . I hope I don't learn how big a monster I am or how insane I really am that I end up finding solutions to the insanity. Wish I could meet Navin before I go into this expedition. Who knows, what if he does not recognize me when I am back. You know, like I get transformed into this new person or something! hehe Would be fun... he cracks some PJ (like always) and I don't laugh but instead start teaching him about spirituality and way of life or how to be a good human being? hahaha! that would be a hilarious conversation and I can imagine Navin boiling with anger and regret for not stopping me from taking up the course. I wonder, do they make you sign a disclaimer saying 'We will not be held responsible if you change... or whatever'... Just kidding! More than Navin, I hope my roommate allows me to stay in the house once I am back!

I am looking forward to go into the part 2 session and sharing my learning once I am back. Stay tuned!

Today...Thursday 2nd April 09
It is strange how things change overnight. I am about to go for the course 2 in couple of hours. But now it is not about curiosity but more of mental peace. I hope I get some peace of mind or learn to keep my cool in tough situations when I come out of the course.
Two days back I got to know that my project at Sears Holdings has ended and I am right now desperately looking for opportunities so that it would allow me to stay back in the US. Otherwise I have to go back to India within a week.
I have been thinking about all this and every time I think about going back to India, it has bothered me. But I just realized that the more you try to run away from it, the more it bothers. But if I think going back is not bad, then there is no pain at all. Be it US or India or anywhere else. All I pray is wherever I end up, I feel at home and peace at mind and happy by heart.

Here I go into the magic course :P Bye for now.

Like a 'Change'?

Does me liking a change, make me a more fun person? If I like the same thing for rest of my life, does it make me less ready to take risks? How does it define my psychology? Well, does it?

Now, by change I mean small things in life, like... what you eat, how you look, what you wear, what you do and so on.

I know just one thing - I don't care! :) I like what I like and I also like that I don't like something. It surprises me at times, to think of certain things I can continue to do forever just the way it has been before or I pick up a taste for something and stick with it without getting bored of it. I feel no one gets habituated to anything like I do.

I was in my office food court the other day for lunch. I looked around every counter to see whats new and making up my mind on what to eat. Every day, most of the counters have something new to offer. I wandered around and then for a moment thought, why am I doing this? I know what I will end up eating anyways.
After a minute of talking to myself, I headed straight to the Deli counter and ordered my favorite Buffalo chicken salad. I have been eating that since the day 1 and even today I order the same thing. One day I forced my self to order a delicious burrito but next day I was back to my buffalo chicken.

I wear the same shoes, use the same purse till they are worn out. Just not my cup of tea to try anything new! Imagine, my husbands name is Navin, meaning new! hehe

If I like something, I will keep it with me forever; it gets difficult to let go of a habit or a taste. Certain things I know is cos of laziness like picking a new purse, or a new hairstyle or trying out a new recipe. Certain things cos if I like something, I am 100% loyal to it. Or may be I don't get bored so easily. But no, I get bored so easily... with everything. Then what is it?