Monday, June 1, 2009

Give others benefit of the doubt

Do you come across a situation in life where your problem seems the biggest one in the whole universe? You expect people around you to feel the tension for you but no one seems to understand how grave the situation is? You disagree to give up and do not let the situation take over you. You know things will work out and are positive all the while.

But that never meant that there is no botheration. You are strong but there are times when hope weakens and the tunnel seems endless? But that very moment someone feels sorry for you, sympathizes for you and that leaves you feeling shaky?

I have been in this situation; I would rather say I am in this situation right now. Since September 08, I have been staying away from my husband; we meet once or twice a month; spending most of our time traveling for hours feeling the hit on time, energy and of course our relationship.

Here I am doing all I can to be on top of the situation, but then comes a moment when I get affected by what people say or do. Some close friend feels sorry for me or someone whom I expect to help does not. The whole ‘why me’ and ‘how long will this take’ feeling takes over me.

Don’t feel sorry for me because I am not. Help me if you can.

I know it is up to me to get affected by remarks by people or just ignore them. May be they are weaker than me or they are just trying to be good by empathizing with me. And if someone does not want to help me, may be they are at loss themselves because they are missing out on an opportunity to serve and make a difference in somebody’s life. Or may be they just don’t feel for you and are too busy in their self-centered life.

More than the problem itself, what bothers more is dealing with emotions that arise as a result of such actions I don’t expect.

Today I approached a colleague to help me find out about my positioning in a project that would work out for me and Navin to be together. From my perspective, right now that is the biggest issue I need to solve. But I never realized that that very person, who acknowledges that I am in deep trouble, does not even offer to help in anyway.

Trouble is like a deep well, when you are in it, you feel that’s the world and cannot think out of it. And same thing is happening to me. I know those who show sympathy are my friends and want good for me. But somehow I am not able to control my energy which ends up as depression. Those who cannot help, I am sure they have their own reasons behind it. But somehow I am not able to control my energy which ends up as anger.

I am not doing justice to my spiritual self. My mind makes logical interpretations and always try to keep others at fault. But my conscience knows that you should always give others the benefit of the doubt. Like Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says, being aware of the problem is half the problem solved. I will try to be calm and aware next time and always give others the benefit of the doubt.

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