Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I Miss You a lot


Love you Seema Aunty! Missing you...

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Stillness

Close your eyes, what do you feel? Well, do you even feel anything? Or are you busy chasing your thoughts? I do it all the time, even with eyes open :)

See the grass in this video? It is pushed by the winds in all possible directions. At times the winds are so strong that it can almost pull the grass out or destroy the fragile texture. When the winds die down, the grass just relaxes back as though enjoying the beauty around, all prepared to face any strong breeze that come their way.

Our lives just the same, don't you think? Many problems waiting to blow on your face, to push us in all directions. But we have always lived through the bad times, no matter how grave they have been. Some situations left impressions on us, some came and left even before we made any attempt to react where as others just made us stronger. But every time there was a solution, there was a way out, there was help available. Isn't it?

What matters is did you loose your ground when the problem blew on your face? Or were you relaxed enough to face the situation. How did your mind play with you?

You know, last year around the same time I was in Chicago working at Sears and Navin was at Gap in SF. The economy was bad and there were hardly any new projects coming up in either accounts where we both could be accommodated. We managed to console each other most of the times but there were times when the wind blew right at our face to uproot us from our grounds. We labelled ourselves to be the unlucky ones. We only looked at the bad things in life. We never trusted that our managers took any effort to find us projects together. We hated if people showed sympathy. Small small problems seemed grave. Small things started becoming or appearing to us as big problems.
After few months I was able to find an assignment at Gap in SF. But only for 2-3 months and that meant we could not move our stuff from Chicago to SF. I requested a manager at Gap to extend the assignment by few days so that I could be eligible to move the stuff. But he said that he was already doing a big favor by finding the project and now I was asking for more.

At that time even a small comment like this made me feel bad. But today when I am at ease, I laugh at how the manager had reacted. I feel that it was immature on his part to say something like that. Or may be he was having his own pressure or problems which made him react that way.
But I could have comforted myself even at that time isn't it? But I did not, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and getting dragged by the problem as it swayed me in all directions. Then or now, I am still the same me. If only I could close my eyes to find that calmness in me.

If you are lucky enough to find the calmness within you, you don't want to loose it again.