Monday, February 8, 2010

What a waste

It is interesting how our minds work as things around us change. When things don’t work the way you want it to, you get frustrated and all energy is wasted cribbing and crying.

We recently had a rating process in our company, when each employee was rated for their performance over one year.

My past one year at work has been very fruitful (for me) in all the projects that were given to me.
I won many appreciations, loads of trust and confidence from my clients; I excelled in every aspect of the work I took up. I got appreciations from my managers. On personal front, I went through hell! I stayed away from my husband for 1 year while I was on-duty guarding my company’s customers and credibility.

But, now when it is time to give back, my so called managers disappeared from the scene. I got moved to a different location, to a different project and I was lost and forgotten from the old. I was given the lowest most rating in the company.

How do I feel?

Cheated – I worked hard to earn customer delight. I got so many appreciation emails from clients. My managers even acknowledged my work by responded to those client appreciation mails with ‘Good Show Folks’ or ‘Well done’! But now I wonder, did they even read those mails?

Wasted – Why did I put so much effort into my work? I did, because I love my work; I am a perfectionist and it is my nature to get things done right. So was it a waste of time, effort and personal sacrifices? Is it wrong to expect what you deserve?

Humiliated – I did all I needed to do to ensure that I excelled in my work. Now do I need to beg for what was expected in return?

Used – If I don’t like the treatment I am getting here, why don’t you go somewhere else? Right? But I have my own reasons to stick around. So now because it is my constraint to not leave this company, you will use me like dirt?

I am sure each one of us has gone through these emotions. May be at work, in personal relationship, at school or may be with friends? How does it feel? What would you advice me? Or do you just give up on your company, your relationship, your life just because it did not do its part when you did yours?

How easy is it to let go? J Simple… I know.