Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Just realizing how painful all the shifting can be. I am moving to another apartment over the weekend and right now struggling to get things packed.
My house is in such a big mess right now. I have put an Ad on craigs to sell off some of the furniture. I know it is going to be embarrassing even to get strangers home to take away the stuff. Anyway! I don't have much choice right now.
Only thing that is motivating me to give away things and moving from 'my home' is that it means it is going to be yet a new beginning; things to do right from the beginning; get stuff you 'like' and less you 'need'; know a new locality; make new friends and meet more people.
This has not been the first time I am packing and shifting. For some reason, I am the last one to move out of an apartment (be it with roommates or as a family). Each time there have been new challenges and same old chaos.
The first time I was faced with this situation was when I was traveling from Mangalore to NJ. We were 3 gals staying together and obviously being the last one to move meant finding new rommates, move stuff, settling the accounts (which is the worst of all). At the time I felt helpless and had the 'why me' question to God; or whoever was to be blamed! But little did I know that it was just a beginning. One good thing out of that shifting was I met new people while looking for new roommates and was happy that they crossed my life. Also, since I was traveling to the USA for the first time soon after; the excitement killed all the pain.
Next time was when I was going back from NJ to Mangalore. Again, we were 2-3 roommates and I was the chosen one to do the finishing honors. But I was in good company and had friends to support me. Once again, I was going back to India for a planned courtship (well, me and my friend-now my husband had done the planning); I was very excited.
Next was when I moved with roommates after I returned to Mangalore. My roommates moved out; one went to US, other got married. Again, I was left with the pressure of moving and shifting. But soon I was getting married and YET again the excitement pulled me through it.
Navin and I got married and moved in a lovely apartment. We were just married and every moment spent in the new home was worth the effort it took when I had to pack again. Navin was first to leave to travel to US; I did join him shortly but what that meant was, I had to all the cleaning, moving, packing! My sister and friend helped me out. Once again, I was looking forward to a new beginning with my husband in a new country, I was very excited.
And now here I am again. The same situation and yes the same responsibility. It is a different place and different challenge and a different me too. But no excitement to quote this time. But now, the excitement really doesn't matter to get me going.
Btw, last night I went for "Satsang"; the first ever I attended. For those of you like me who never thought Satsang is 'Cool', it is very cool!
I slept like a baby after 2-3 sleepless nights worrying too much about simple things.