Mind, Thoughts and Us

Our mind is constantly feeding us with thoughts. Thoughts of our past, or our future, sometimes just self made-up memories. Mostly the feeling associated with them are that of fear or apprehension/worry of future events or grief, loss, despair of past memories. Why does this happen? Can we control this? Do they affect our lives in any way?

I have been doing my personal search and learning of consciousness mainly through meditation and reading and following posts from people who I believe have a common purpose. I feel my desire to learn or explore the 'truth' as they say in spirituality, leads me to useful sources. Sources, those at the moment, help to answer my questions. I don't know what is right and what is not. But I trust intuition and my gut feeling that leads me to a satisfying place at the time.

As I was reading the book Nine Lives: In Search of the Sacred in Modern India, I was amazed by the varied belief system and thought process of people who they believe are so close to God. What is God to them? Why do I not see those Gods that they do? Are they happy in life because of their faith or because of something else? Then they are sad too, so why are they sad?

I am learning that we are responsible for our own experiences whether good or bad. When things go wrong, we like to find someone to blame it on, and God seems an easy way. But why would God want us pain or suffering. Because we may have done something bad so this is our punishment or old bad karma? But who decides good or bad? Then we plan on bribing God or make him happy using drills we have known from childhood. These explanations does not make sense to me. So I keep looking for answers.

When I am meditating, I can get to a state where a thought about anything becomes painfully energy draining and so it feels great to be void of any. Where does my grudge or my reasons to feel bad for myself, or the bad memories go at that time? Same, when say I am enjoying an evening with my friends? Or I am reading a book of my interest. So, it means that I am no longer in pain for any reason at those times. Mostly, these 'bad' feelings come in when I am idle and have no better things to do. But knowing that I can be in a state of no thought and so of no pain is revolutionary. It means that with focus, and that is with intention I can choose to have no thoughts. But how can we be with no thoughts all the time? But at least it clarifies one thing, and the most important thing. And that is pain or unhappiness is linked to my thoughts. Of course, it also means, happiness is linked to my thoughts. Basically, feelings and emotions are. So this means that happiness or sadness are my choosing. 

I came across Abraham Ester Hicks videos where super beings talk to Ester Hicks. They talk about being in the vibrational vortex and the universal law of attraction. The theory is that, we are all vibrations, including our thoughts. Whatever we desire, the universe is waiting to give it to us. There are no exceptions. We however need to be in our vibrational vortex to receive what is given. Basically, it is the feeling-good space.
I read her book called 'Ask and it is Given'. In her book there are many techniques explaining how the law of attraction can be used to fulfill your desires.

Our subconscious makes up 85% or our total mind power. Very little as 15% is conscious. What does this mean? Say we pick a glass of water. The focus to pick the glass is conscious. But which muscle to contract and how to move fingers is subconscious. Our subconscious is continuously learning from our tiny conscious and is controlling our life so to say. What I felt going through the book was that the techniques were mainly how to be conscious and deliberate in choosing thoughts which thus affect the subconscious. Most of the time, just thinking about what you want does not work effectively. You need to communicate this to the subconscious in a way that it understands and remembers.

I try to be conscious and aware of what I am thinking throughout the day. But many times thoughts involuntarily bring feeling of pain, jealousy and fear. As soon as I realize I am doing that, I think of something else. It is a continuous deliberate process. There are however times when I am engulfed with a low vibration feeling, say of jealousy. I feel angry and frustrated. I realize that, but I just cannot change the thought to something else. During those times, I just surrender and acknowledge the thoughts. That's the best I can do at that very moment. I keep assuring myself that this is just a thought. Once the intensity of it goes down, I switch to a happy thought. 

Live your life Now

After we were back from the trip to Salt Lake City, I got to know the terrible news of a fatal accident on a busy street near our house that took the lives of two young cousins. Both were driving back from a baptism ceremony when a car hit theirs at a signal. I was surprised to know that this street where cars don't go more than 25 or 30 mph could kill someone in an accident. We pass that road very often and cannot stop thinking of the lives lost and their families.
On talking about this accident to another friend, she told me of her Aunt who was killed in  an accident crossing a road. She was walking back from a grocery store and the truck driver turned on a free right not seeing her. Her son still goes to the grocery store hoping to find her there.
We all heard the shooting at the Colorado theater. People had got together to just have some good time but for those few it was their last.
And then we heard of the shooting at the Gurudwara in Wisconsin.
I met a colleague of mine whose Mom was diagnosed with Cancer couple of weeks back. I could not imagine the stress and emotions going through the young girl's mind.

For a moment think of these people. What goes through your mind? You feel sad I am sure. What do you feel about your life?
Do you still want to worry about the chores left incomplete? Or keep the grudge for a friend since college days? The extra pounds on your hips? The exam you could not clear. Your life long wish to have kids, in this year and these many. Your dream of spending your life with Mr right going wrong. The job I could have got if only I applied at the right time.I cannot stress enough on the importance of 'now', the moment we have. The tragedies listed above is a reminder to live the present moment. That's all we have. This very breath you took in, feel the warmth, remember your relation to the Being, feel grateful. As you breath out relax your mind and be assured all is well, everything is going to be OK. 
Don't wait for the perfect conditions to learn something new. Start now. If you are thinking of a friend you want to talk to, call them now.
You are feeling this is the end of world, nothing is going right for you? Remember, it is just a moment that will pass too. You are part of this universe that has gone through infinite changes and continuously does. You have that power of change in you. You have the power to be happy.

If you want to be happy, be.  ~Leo Tolstoy

We own every situation we are in and should take full responsibility for it.
You cannot control all life events, but you can control how you feel. Believe that every problem has a solution. If you continue to get lost in your egoistic endeavors, you will remain in the constant cycle of loss and pain. Break this cycle of unrealistic hopes. If you feel emotionally down, don't look for answers now. Wait till your mind is clear of all the noise. For now, just be aware of the thoughts that come to your mind. Don't fight them. And don't glue yourself to them to continue crying for what happened.
Welcome every moment as the last you will have or the first you ever had.

There are many times I feel lost and doubt God's power. The meditation, the knowledge I get from reading books or meeting people, of what 'use' is it to me? But every time I have come to only one conclusion - and that is, as soon as you keep yourself separated from worldly 'norms' and 'pleasures' and 'the rat race', the fear of 'something bad' and your mind is in the 'Now', there is place for only peace and happiness. And that is the aim in life isn't it?
You ease into the worldly 'norms'. You experience the 'pleasure' of being alive. You win your 'rat race' because these are your own mind made. The 'something bad' you think will happen is ALL in your mind. So just relax your mind. Your present moment was your future in your past. Got it? So you have the choice how you want to live it or rather I should say, how you want your future to be. 

Meditation - what to expect

Meditation is the ability to be in a state of awareness which is beyond place, whats going on around you, thoughts in your mind and beyond time. With practice, you have the ability to meditate anytime and any place. This meditative state is inherent to everyone of us. But gets lost somewhere amidst the train of thoughts approaching and leaving our mind.

The whole idea is to focus on one thing such that you stop the flow of thoughts and completely relax and get connected to the inner stillness. It could be looking at an object while concentrating on the breath. Somebody told me how cooking was meditative to her as it relaxed and calmed her mind. In the Art of Living Silent course, there was a meditation session that used physical pain to focus. For some people it is praying and chanting while for others it is cooking or exercising or going out for a walk. Everything is a theory, so if something works for you, go with it.

How do I meditate?
I usually start with Art of living short Kriya or the last breathing rounds. That way I am able to relax and become aware of the thoughts. I imagine 'me' as a being who is beyond the thoughts and just acknowledge any thought that comes to my mind. I can listen to the silence around me. Then I use one of this below techniques.
Become aware that you are in a room, which is part of the house, your parking lot, your city, all trees you saw during your walks in the parks, the mountains. You then slowly move your awareness of your being in the country, the other side of the earth, the relativity to sun, the moon, planets, solar system, galaxies and so on. As I do that, my mind becomes so quite that I feel I am part of the space in the universe.

All this sounds fiction. Isn't it? I am finding it funny as I type this but this is what I do and works for me. I picked this process (or like process) from Love yourself like your life depends on it, by Ravikant. There is a some special power you experience when you imagine yourself being part of the bigger part of this universe.
I keep my mind focused on my breath all the time.
Sometimes I try the other way round, where I imagine my whole body, the organs, blood, the cells, the particles in the cell and so on till I get to the electrons. That energy, the space between those particles. I feel part of that.

Do I get cut out from everything in this state?
Not at all. I don't know about others, but I don't. I can still hear if my phone rings. I can still hear if the water tap next to my room is opened. But I am relaxed to a point where I just want to continue breathing. I just want to continue observing the stillness, the quietness. The breath is so slow, like a baby.

How can I make use of meditation other than the time I actually sit to meditate?
Well, its the honey you have tasted. You have been in touch with the innermost core of yourself; which I have believed to be love.
As I breath in, I tell myself how much I love myself and think of the meditative state I know of. As I breath out, if there were any other thoughts I say 'OK'. I know I don't have to deal with them at that time. But I don't want to stop them either.

What is the Success Rate of this whole process?
There are times I sit for 1/2 hour and I feel I was in there for 5 minutes. Other times I sit for 5 minutes and I feel it is 1/2 hour.
The success depends on how much you work hard. No, no. You don't need to work hard to meditate; in fact it should be just the opposite; effortless. The effort is in getting yourself to spare some time of your day to meditate; those 10 minutes you want to invest on yourself. To leave the bed of laziness and sit on the floor of meditation.

It was challenging for me to make meditation as a everyday process. I still don't get time everyday. I had promised myself that I would make it regular and used to get very disappointed if I missed a schedule. But with practice, I am learning that we don't have to be over critical to ourselves. Just listen to the moment. Make sure you have a comfortable and quite place to meditate and the will to. If not, no point wasting time, you rather do something else.

The power of being in the moment of 'now' is magical. If I struggle and keep getting distracted, I simply observe the frustration and my reaction to that situation. And slowly I am learning that this process can be applied to everything in life. Every situation, emotion, interactions, likes, dislikes, communication and so on.

Key is to keep the light of life alive through love and being in the now. Through meditation or other ways. It could be thanking small things in life, awareness meditation where you focus on everything you do like while eating, taste the food, bite every piece of food. Be aware of every moment like walking, hugging someone, talking and so on. Observing the trees and birds when you go out for a walk. Watch a baby laugh or cry.
Nature gives us all the opportunities; we just need to be present.