Visit to a temple

One day we were visiting a temple near our house. It was some occasion, I don't particularly remember. So the place was crowded with people from different paths of life, young, old, locals, some visitors. As soon as we entered the temple, I saw some women filling 'daone' (a sweet that is offered in the name of God and then distributed among the devotees as prasad-basically return gift from temple). I was excited to help too. They were very happy to have another helping hand. So after a quick 'darshan' in the temple, I went and joined the volunteers. What surprised me was none of the people (my friends and relatives) except one came forward and joined me to help. They preferred sitting right in front of the deity seeking blessings.
This bothers me. You are in a temple seeking for blessings or some kind of connection with God. What better way than to offer service? People tend to do things that they have been seeing and doing from childhood. Go to temple, offer flowers, money to God, make promises to offer more money or some goods IF my dreams get fulfilled.
Ok, ok. May be I am being too judgmental. We may not know what people have going in their lives. May be just sitting before the idol brings peace they are looking for. But then I don't see that sincerity in their behavior while in the temple either. They would start gossiping with friends and relatives that they meet, or show off their expensive jewelry or sarees. You can hardly see anyone with eyes closed, calm composure, relaxed. Everyone seems to have a anxious look on their face, as if remembering all the sin they have committed and waiting for God's pardon. The focus is more on, have I completed all the rituals properly? Did I take 1 or 3 turns around the idol. Did I ring the temple bell when I entered. Did I do a saashtaang namaskar (pray bending knees down on the floor, nose touching floor)? Did I get to eat the prasad! Do I have enough to share with my folks back home who are not with me. Did I give enough money to perform some ritual and did the priest say my name correctly before God. Else, God may give blessings to someone else by mistake.
So while I was enjoying talking to the strangers while filling the prasad, the temple bells begin to ring loud, announcing an aarti; basically the time when priest talks to God asking for blessings for people present before him and offers the prasad and distributes it among people. BTW, this is also the time, he goes around with a lighted diya and people make sure they get to touch the diya; otherwise the temple visit will not be complete. Priests collect money (small change) as he carries out this act.
So, as the bells started ringing, people with me left whatever they were doing and ran inside the temple. I had no choice but to follow them. The scene inside the temple was chaotic. There was a big rush, each one trying to get in front so that they can 'see' the idol clearly. My friends and relatives were not behind either. One shouted to the other 'come this way', almost pushing few others along the way.
Here my problem was, how can people not understand that just like how important it is for you to get the 'darshan' and the best spot, so it is for other people too. What if one of your relative cannot stand in front? What if one of your relative cannot touch the diya when the priest comes with the diyas? Don't you see others are humans too and probably God would like some order while prayers are being offered. So let those who got ahead get the best view and be the first to get the prasad. Why this race and fight?
Again this bothers me. No one seem to be considerate of a fellow being. Even at an auspicious place like a temple.
Outside the temple, you can usually see some beggars seeking the temple visitor's kindness and begging for a a few rupees. And usually what is the reaction from the people they get? They are completely ignored or looked at with doubt that these beggars may rob my shoes I left at the door. Very few are kind enough to give some change to them.
Again this bothers me. You can spend hundreds on some rituals and prasad, but cannot spare a little to some needy? I've heard people say that these beggars should not waste their time on easy money but go look for some job and earn money in a more dignified way. But my point is, if you give the same money that you would otherwise offer to the temple, to the beggar instead, will you become poor? Temple has enough money. May be with the money you give to the temple, the God idol will be painted in gold, or worn some expensive jewelry. Why do we need this drama? Why not make use of the money to feed someone who cannot afford a day's meal? May be with the money you give, they will be able to apply for a job.
What is your imagination of God? How do you please and seek God's blessings? Do you question the ways you have been taught? No, then why not? 

Stories in my Garden

Doctor's clinic makes me nervous

Here I am waiting for my turn. It's time for a regular check up but I wonder why head feels so odd. I just want to get done with this stuff.

The place is full of people waiting patiently for their turn. Other side of the counter there are those chirpy ever so trying to please receptionists. Stop the smiles and the sweet talks you lame gals. Whats so funny or pleasing today that i cannot figure.

I cannot wait to just get out of this place. Why did I even come here. I feel great! I need no tests to prove I am not unwell.

Phew! Still no sign of the doctor. I think I may just faint with stress when I finally hear 'shriiiiiya?'

Believe it or not and I heard 'naaaatkar?' I feel like killing that fat miss! I wonder why they can never pronounce Indian names clearly and the way it is spelled? Mere naam ki khichdi banake rakhaa hain.
Feels like I am just too stressed for any marginal tolerance today. Beware you those who will interact with me.

Blood pressure higher than usual the nurse says. Obviously! Why don't you guys change the decor of this place? I say to myself. Do something to make me feel it's a movie theater. She goes away.

And here I am once again waiting for the next turn.

Bhivkhuryos (darpoks)

Just as we sat to have dinner, we heard some sound inside our TV table. The sound was as if somebody was struggling to get out through the doors. For a moment we thought we were just hearing some noises from our neighbors house (at times we hear people snoring from the house next door!). But the sound repeated and the door started moving.
Aiyyoo!! Both Navin and me jumped out of our chairs! We were scared it could be a snake or a squirrel or some other animal. Navin made a frantic call to his friend who lives close to our house to come help us free the trapped animal.
Unfortunately the friend did not pick our calls. What do we do? On one hand we were both scared to open the cupboard, on the other hand we were both embarrassed that we were scared and jumping around like small kids and had to get help in the middle of the night.
Here's a video of Navin calling our security LOL




It was funny how the security guard was as scared as us. Here's a video taken while the two men were at war with the trapped animal.





Watch till end of the video! The haunting soul trapped inside was nothing but our DVD player. I had placed a heavy book on the DVD remote player by mistake and the button was being pushed continuously to eject the DVD. LOL It was so funny!

That was sweet

Yes she was sweet. Just met her for 1/2 a second may be. Navin and I were on our way back from a long walk. We were tired, hungry and cold... a sweet gesture like this can make any ones heart warm and happy.
We were in our own world, may be talking about how cold the weather was getting. I look up and boom! A lady pops in front and hands over a small bouquet of flowers to me and goes past us.
Who, what, why? Well, I don't know. May be she was on her daily walk and started plucking flowers and wanted to get rid of them before she reached home. Or may be she just wanted to make someone feel nice. I like to believe the later. I felt nice. Here is a picture of the sweetness :)

Visit to the Ashram

Our office is organizing a fund raising program – the money will be used to gift toys and clothes to kids living in Ashrams. These ashrams have kids from poor families, some orphans, some abandoned by their parents or relatives. Some kids get to visit their families few times in a year, while others just wait for someone to come visit them.
As part of this program, I along with few colleagues visited few ashrams to collect the names of the kids and their wishes. Wishes varied from stuff toy to clothes to school bags and even umbrellas. Nothing fancy!

It was my first visit to an Ashram for kids. It was just great to see the enthusiasm of the kids and of course the volunteers. Most of the kids were from class 1, 2 and 3. Tiny hands with small fragile body frame but with hopeful eyes full of energy and excitement. Who doesn’t like gifts? Don’t we feel happy when we get a gift? The kids were pleased to see new people visiting them and when they were told that they could choose a gift, their happiness was unbound. The kids could only understand Kannada, the local language. But I was too excited not to talk. I started talking in Konkani hoping at least someone may know the language. And luckily, couple of kids did know and it helped. They followed what I spoke and explained to the rest of the kids in the group. It was a nice and a new experience for me.

After the session the kids were asked to leave and get back to whatever they were doing. We waved bye to them as I followed a few of them. Some of them were washing clothes, some cleaning the floor, some studying; all on a single table while a young 15 yrs old took their lessons, some were carrying big buckets of water, others helping in cooking. It touched me how they quickly geared themselves back to their chores – knowing the gifts and our visit session is just a few moments of fun and may be a little change from their routine life. 

Few days later I got to know that there were couple of Ashrams yet to be visited. I was free and decided to join the few others going there. I was told these ashrams were of HIV infected kids. Oh! I did not know what to expect when I walk into the shelter home. Would the children have some scars? Would they be looking at you as people from different planet or something? Will the place be clean or more like a hospital? How do HIV infected kids look like? Are they weak and fragile expecting death anytime? I did not know what to expect. May be I had some wrong notions about HIV infection or I was just ignorant. But there I was, yet again waiting to see the unexpected.

So, after almost 1-2 hrs drive we reached the Ashram. As we reached the gate, I could hear laughter; I saw a group of kids playing near the Father Superior’s office. Are those kids HIV infected? They looked just like any other kids. They laughed, played and were having a good time. They were very happy to see us and after we told them about the gifts, they were very excited. They were given a list with few items and asked to select one out of those. Only One? Asks one of the kids. J

We did what we had to do and headed back home. On our way back, I could not thank God enough for the great childhood I got. I only could laugh at myself for the petty things I cry about. Those are all too fancy; I thought to myself!

It happens only in India

I came across one video on YouTube which shows how people in India are different from the rest, especially in behavior, habits, religious beliefs. The video was hilarious but nostalgic and very true at the same time. It showed how people fight to pay party bills, women store anything that is made of plastic including plastic bags, take movies and cricket very seriously etc. etc.

After I returned from US in Oct this year I just could not deny the fact that I was indeed missing India a lot. More than friends and relatives, the very being in this place. I still cry and complaint about many things here; and I think many things will still never change like the huge crowd, pollution, low salary, corruption, nosy relatives J, love for gold, showing off one’s achievements. Everything comes in a package isn’t it?

In last couple of months I remember many instances where I feel – ah! India is different, I don’t ‘don’t like’ the people here, there is so much to experience here.

One day I was travelling from Goa to Mangalore by a late night train. I reached Mangalore station at 4:30 am; the bus services start only at 7:00 am; the only mode of transport at that hour are Autos (like cabs, just smaller in size and uncomfortable) and they charge double than usual at this time.
It was too dark to go on my own, so I decided to wait in the waiting room at the station. There was one family (mother, father and a 10 yr old kid). The kid had a fractured hand. I started talking to them and learnt that they were visiting a hospital for the kid and they were from Karwar. Karwar!? I asked; my in-laws are from that place. But they did not know whom I was talking about – for all I know Karwar is a big city where people mind their own business. Unlike Mapusa (from where I come) where everyone and anyone know each other; And why wouldn’t they? When their favorite time pass is gossiping!
Anyways. They were new to the station just like me and were not knowing the bus timings or the distance of the station from closest city. At about 6:30 am they were tired waiting for the bus and decided to take an auto. As they were leaving, the lady offered me a ride from the station to the city. I was amazed. I said, no – there is no space in the auto. With 3 people already, there was no place to fit another 150 pounds in there. To that she said, we will make husband or kid sit alongside the driver. What!? C’mon. I don’t even know them, just mentioned that I know their hometown. She offered me a ride, even more, risked her kid with a broken hand to sit in an open auto with no doors! And for those who may not know, the roads in Mangalore are real BAD.

Another time, I was again travelling by train. I was not sure if my station had already passed. I hurried from my place, gathered my bags and stood near the train exit door. One elderly guy decided to give me company. We talked about Infosys, how he thought Infosys was paying huge salary (and I corrected him of course), about world economy, Kerala (yes, he was from God’s own country). Then the conversation moved towards family. How many siblings, what parents do, what business blah blah. This happens in India. If you have a 20 minutes conversation with anyone, be sure you will be asked about your whole family. There is nothing more interesting to them than learning that you are the eldest or the youngest in family! These kind of questions are just obvious to ask.

The other day, some friends at work decided to go out for a movie after work. It was a late night show and more importantly a Day Night cricket match was going. The score that India needed to score was a huge ask and all knew it was an easy win for Australia; we don’t like to see India lose a match; so decided the movie would be a good alternative to watch. I bought the tickets and everything was set for a fun evening. Indian team was chasing a score of 350 runs and with batsman getting out early on, it looked like a sure loss. But then Sachin Tendulkar (who is he? Don’t even ask this question in India. He is God – star player in Indian cricket team) was in good form and was playing innings on a lifetime. With just 10 minutes for the show to start we gathered at the theater hall. No one wanted to enter the hall. There was a TV in the corridors which was playing some hindi songs channel. One of my friends (a local resident from Mangalore) spoke to the gate watcher in Kannada and requested him to turn on the match. After a lot of persuation, he got him to play the match. And then that was it!!! The entire crowd gathered in the corridors to watch the match. Every ball bowled was cheered aloud. The match was at its critical point, Sachin was playing well, but wickets were falling, the runs to chase was not too high either. No one was ready to enter the hall.
The theater manager came in and looked at the crowd.  Some people were sitting in the movie hall waiting for the show to start. But outside was complete chaos. Lot of shouts, cheering, praying, fighting (girlfriends pulling boyfriends into the theater and boyfriends asking them to go ahead NOT knowing what was in store for later from angry gals :P but did not care until Sachin played well). The manager asked the guard to turn off the TV. But the crowd roared. He did not do what to do. For people in the hall, he played 2, 3 rounds of movie promotions to delay start of the movie and kept them busy. Later he ran out of movie trailers, and Sachin lost his wicket. India lost the match and everybody went in to watch the movie.

It was a busy afternoon in Bangalore with lot of traffic. Trucks and buses were blocking a crossroad and there was lot of chaos. One of the Auto walas walked out of his auto and was helping the Traffic police to clear the traffic. I should say, he was doing much better job than the traffic police J

This morning I was sitting in our office canteen for breakfast. I saw one of our top officials walk towards the canteen counter to order. The person selling the coupons stood up and issued the coupons to them. He was all smiles and stood with hands joined for Namaskara (Respectful Hello).
I have been at many US client locations. And none of the places I saw such gesture by anyone towards the Vice President, or CEO of the company.

This happens only in India!

Old Age

I tried hard not to think about her. But the moments when we met keeps wandering back…

During my last visit to Goa, I visited one of my distant relatives. She is now old, has faded memory and is hard of hearing. I wanted to meet her before I leave Goa in this visit, not knowing when I would be back again and get time for the visit.

‘Kakibai’ I called her. I knew she did not hear me (I knew of her hearing problem) and was concerned how I was going to communicate when we meet. She turned to me with an inquiring look. Her eyes I could make out was fading too. ‘Shreya go?’ (Is it Shreya?). I was seeing her after may be more than 3 years. She had always been old as far as I remember her.
She looked at me and gave a relieved look. She said ‘How long have you been away?’ I said 2 yrs; I told as loudly I could. ‘2 years? It seemed so long. Now that you have come, don’t go.’

For the time I was there, I must have just spoken only these couple of words. All the while I simply looked at her in amazement.

There was Kakibai, one of my favorite Grannies, though she is not closely related to me, I liked to spend time with her whenever she visited us or whenever we met. She was always the caring, loving granny who told interesting stories to grandchildren.
But now, she looked old and weary. She could barely hear or see. I wondered what must be going on in her mind all day. Cooking, looking after herself, sleeping and occasional talking to someone may be who had the patience to talk loud and hear her say the same things over and over again.
Does she worry about the change in weather? Does she long for people to visit her? Does she simply sit back and remember the good old days when she was able to do all things easily?
What do people want in life when you are that age I wondered. Are they satisfied with the time they spent, time spent mostly looking after kids and praying for their well being?
What would we want when we are of Kakibai’s age? Will we be looking forward to anything at all? We may not be able to watch and enjoy television like the way we do now, or read books, or visit places. How would it feel to be dependent on other people? Value of money or gold or diamonds would make no sense whatsoever. Would we still want our favorite political party to win elections? Would we worry if the economy went up or down?

Or would we get fed up of the situation and pray to God that we die now?

I don’t know when I will meet Kakibai again. Before leaving I hugged her and touched her face. She could not control her tears roll down her wrinkled face. Was she sad to say good bye again wondering would it be another 2 yrs until we meet again? I don’t know, but I felt sad to say good bye too.

It is not as hot as you think it is

One of the first things anyone said to be when I mentioned that I was moving to California from Chicago was, 'Wow, California? The weather there is so awesome. Enjoy the hot weather. People in Chicago will envy you.’

I was so happy and excited to finally move out of the cold windy State and knowing that California is going to be hot, I was thrilled. May be not as hot as Florida I thought. But definitely better than where I was all this while.

Having experienced two winters in Illinois in the past 1.5 years, I was so looking forward to a winter-jacket free, sweater free, flu free, running nose free, cough and cold free place. I was so done of the cold weather.

My iGoogle desktop always had the weather forecast of Hoffman Estates. This was the suburbs where I lived. When I moved to south SF last month, I added San Bruno to the weather widget. I purposefully did not remove Hoffman Estates. I wanted to still feel the cold for my friends back there. So that’s what I thought. But you will not believe this. Every single day in the past one month, there has never been a time in the day when the temperature of my new California place has gone higher than that in my old Illinois place.

Higher would be an exaggeration; the temperature here has not even dared be anywhere close to that in Hoffman Estates. Here is a screenshot of what I usually see every single day on my iGoogle.

Considering that there is a gap of 2 hours between the two places, I have tried looking at the difference in temperature at the peak time in San Bruno when it is the hottest. But still Hoffman has ruled the charts.

I am so waiting for fall season and early winters when Hoffman states will go in negatives and I will have something to cheer about. But that too I guess I can only conclude when it actually happens. I am sure summers here are so cold, how bad the winters will be.

So all those people who think California is a warm place? Please understand which part of California you are referring to. And also what is the comparison made against.

Btw, the sweaters, the flu, the cough and colds are still living in harmony with me in the new place.

Oct - 2

Wohoooooooooooo!Now look who is laughing :)

Doze as you Drive

Today I had to travel to our other office in downtown for a meeting at 10. There is a 9 o'clock shuttle that takes off daily from my office.

I was right on time but the shuttle bus took a while to get there. There is one driver for the shuttle at that time but today unusually there was another driver. 'Hello' I said as I got in. But the driver seemed to be least interested in greeting anyone this morning. I sat in one of the front seats; I could see him through the mirror above the driver's seat.

As we took a turn to get out of the office, I noticed the driver started blabbering. Must be having a stressful life I thought. But that kept me interested and I kept an eye on him through the mirror.

On one of my neighboring seats was a Chinese lady who had just returned from her trip back home and was showing off her vacation pictures to her colleague. For a moment my attention moved to their conversation. The colleague was an Indian guy and he was saying, 'I would have asked you to get me sweaters if I knew you were going to China'. 'Sweater? Why? Chinese people don't use sweaters there. Why would I get sweaters from there?'. 'Oh I thought sweaters are cheap there and this time of the year we need some here'. Oh this Desi I thought! I was now getting irritated rather than entertained with the conversation.

Suddenly I heard the driver opening the window glasses. We were on the freeway and the outside sound became too loud. I could barely hear the two talk anymore. I was relieved. But I think the two stopped talking too as the sound was so loud that they could barely hear what they spoke themselves. Maybe the driver did not like them talk I thought. They were right behind his seat.

But the driver was uncomfortable I noticed. He opened the window; then in seconds closed it. Opened and closed again. Now I could not stop staring him through the mirror. For a moment I hoped no one was staring me staring at him :P

While we drove, a car passed right by from a different lane to take an exit right in front of us. That was close I thought. Didn't the driver see the car? Whats happening here? The driver was struggling to keep his eyes open. Seems like he had a sleepless night or something. But he was trying everything possible to keep awake. He started changing the radio stations. That did not work either.

At one time I saw the shuttle was going on in a straight lane for sometime and the driver's eyes were almost closed. I thought he was sleeping but soon we had to take an exit and he did turn the steering at the right time. As we entered the city, we stopped at the red signal. I waited for what could be next. The signal was long.. long enough for the driver to doze off. Signal turned green but our bus did not move. All the people in the bus were surprised and there was some buzz amongst each other. With that the driver woke up. The Chinese lady right behind his seat exclaimed 'driver dozed off'.

It was very embarrassing for him I am sure. We had almost reached the destination but the bus was supposed to go to another from there. The Chinese lady got off with me at this stop. We both were happy to get out of the bus and prayed that the driver manages to take the people safely till the next point.

Accident ho gaya Rabba Rabba

It happened last weekend; Sunday 7/4.

It was the Guru Poornima weekend in Chicago. I was already feeling the pinch of not being able to attend any of the Guru Poornima events. To add to that, it was a long weekend and Navin was supposed to work on Saturday. But he got a call from office and had to work on Friday as well.

We had a car rental for the entire week, but we were there sitting at home. Frankly speaking we did not mind, but would have been happier if we went out instead of sitting at home for two continuous days.

Mehul and Minal were in SF; they are our friends from Chicago. We had planned to meet on one of the days when Navin would be free over the long weekend. Sunday being the only day Navin was available, we decided to meet on Sunday. Ananth and Hima joined us too and we planned for a trip to the Golden gate and Point Reyers.

The trip was really awesome. It was a big group and we had lots of fun. We talked, walked, did total bhangas (crazy stuff), clicked pictures, ate oysters, teased Hima (she is a great sport and fun to be with), drove through the winding roads, put our hands out of moving car to feel the high speed winds near point Reyers, made fun of Navin (he is a target most of the times; he is fun and funny too), Ananth was ready with smart comments as always. Mehul, Minal were ready with romantic poses for picture shooting which was so much fun too. We used to click picture of them including the person who was clicking pics of them. It is funny to see those pics! Will share if Mehul Minal don't mind.

In all this drama, we forgot that our car was short of gas. We were about 15-20 miles away from the city and returning from Point Reyes. The reserve gas alarm rang indicating that the car needed gas right away. We must have drove for 10 miles with the indicator ON. Navin was driving and he just had one thing on mind - to get to a gas station by Hook or Crook.

We were almost near a gas station and GPS indicated left turn. Navin pulled the car on the left lane and suddenly he saw a Gas Station along the road on the right hand side. Without thinking or rather without looking right or left, Navin pulled the car on the right lane towards the gas station. There was a car right behind in the right lane. Bang! Our car banged into the car. Luckily the collision was very small and the car driver moved away from our car at the right time.

But the next couple of hours were bad. More for Navin :P. The other car driver was a lady and she had just one expression written all over her as she got out of her car. She was FURIOUS. She started yelling F words and we all just kept quite.

When she was a little cool and able to think, she asked for the DL. Navin had a out of state license. Now what? Are you from SF? Yes Mam, Navin nods. Show me some proof that you are. Show me your rental car papers. Oops. Navin looked at me. Where is your bag? Err... I left it at home. The bag had the rental papers and all the other stuff in the world. Navin always complained that I never find anything I want in that bag. So, I thought I will leave it at home. But now... we needed the bag!

Ok... then show me your insurance. Aah... we never carried insurance papers or id anytime. Wait a sec; Navin said 'I have it on my cell'. This must have been first words Navin spoke after the lady started talking. WHAT? Says the lady? Insurance? Cell? What?

Navin pulls out his cell phone waving to her that the insurance # is on the cell phone. Who on earth has # stored on their cell phone? What if the cell phone is dead? Well, the cell phone was dead! The lady yelled louder. She needed some assurance that damage to her car would be covered. Luckily she did not call the cops. Else we would have been in locker for inquiries.

Navin was shaken for sure. Less from the collision but from from the lady's abusive language. And with no proof of car insurance or rental car we were on the back foot. 'Do you realize what you did?' she was saying all the time. We realize now for sure. At that time our minds stopped thinking.

I have a motorola charger suggested Minal. Thank God. We got the cell charged in the store at the gas station. Once we got the number, we called Gieco, filed a case and gave the case # to the lady.

It was a horrific experience on a fun day. We were planning to go to Minal Mehul's hotel place and then plan dinner or something. But after this break, we headed straight home. Did not even have the courtesy to ask Hima and Ananth about dinner plans. We were just shaken by the whole experience.

What a coincidence

Today I had to go to another office for a 1-3 meeting. My colleagues were driving so I thought I might as well take a ride. When we reached the parking gate, I found out that the gate wouldn't open with our usual swipe in card. So my colleague dropped us at the front door of the building while he went out to find some parking place.

I did not carry my hand bag as I had to carry my laptop along and did not want to carry too many things. We entered the building, found the meeting room. Meeting started as planned and by 3 we were off. While we started getting ready to start back, I realized I did not have my wallet. I knew for sure that I was carrying it when we sat in the car. I looked everywhere. The meeting room, my laptop bag. But could not find it. I thought may be I left it in the car. So we all started walking to exit the building. As we walked towards the parking place, I was trying hard to remember whether or not I had carried the wallet in the first place. I think I did, I thought.

When we reached the car, I looked for the wallet. Looked everywhere but it was not there. Now what do I do? I don't know anyone in this office. Neither do I know how long it will be when I need to go back to the place again. I decided I will walk back to the meeting room to look for the wallet once again while others waited for me in the car.

I only crossed the road to walk towards the building, when I saw a group of people walking out towards the parking lot. As they looked at me, one of the gentleman seemed very pleased and surprised. He waved a wallet in his hands as he started pointing towards me while he talked to his friends. I was taken back. Is that my wallet in his hand? What is he doing with it? And how did he know it was mine?
As we got closer he said "By any chance are you looking for a lost wallet?"

Of course yes!

They all started explaining to me. One person said, someone found the wallet on the road. Another said, we called your library. The gentleman said excitedly, we recognized you by your picture on your license and library card. Another person said something else. And another something else. And my mind was barely trying to handle the excitement of having found the wallet and being amazed by the coincidence of meeting the folks who had found my wallet. It was all very quick and magical.

What were the chances that I walked back to look for the wallet again? I could have drove back thinking I never got the wallet with me. How did the people who found my wallet walk just by me while I was looking for it? More than the relief of finding the wallet safely I was just awed by the coincidence.

May be they had seen me walk that side and collected the wallet from the front desk who asked them to give it to me? May be, or may be not. May be I was just very lucky. I want to believe the later.

The friendly group told me that someone found my wallet on the road and seems like some cars may have passed over it. But the wallet seemed fine to me. My secure id however was crushed and is now unusable. But it will always remind me of the special moment.

Perfect Timing

I was at work till late. Some 'crazy' manager had scheduled a meeting from 5-6 pm. I was not feeling very happy of some of the things happening at work. So I thought how about going to temple on my way home?
So I turned my car on Irving Park road and started driving towards Hari Om temple. Off late, I have been going through lot of mood swings specially with things related to my work. Also had not been meditating regularly so had been missing some quiet time. So I thought, visit on a weekday to the temple would be perfect time off for myself. There will be less or may be no people and I will just sit in the auspicious smelling place.

As I entered the temple, I saw few others hurrying in too. I wondered if it was some festival or occasion. I prayed and sat for sometime. I was ready to get up; that time people started gathering in a small circle. The priest came by me and said 'We are having Hanuman Chalisa in 2 minutes. Don't go'. Don't go? hehe Sounds forceful isn't it? But I liked that he made sure I know what was going on; may be I looked confused. Also, he insisted I stayed; feels good to obey your elders right? Specially when they force you to do something that affects them in no way but benefits us.

Anyways, so I decided to stay for the chanting and the singing. It was great fun to sing aloud the Sanskrit scripts. There I was sitting with a bunch of strangers, swinging and clapping as I read the Chalisa from a file of assembled printouts. Though I did not know anyone, we all were connected by the tunes of 'Jai Sri Ram'.

As I stood for the Aartis, while the priests performed the pooja, I saw two 1 yr old playing with their Dad. The twins were so tiny and cute. One of them was in her Dad's arms and she looked at me and just opened her arms to come towards me. I don't know why she did that but I took her in my arms. Next thing she does is calmly puts her head on my shoulder like she knew me, like she was happy in the new arms; as if she was going to sleep. I felt so good; the experience of innocence, trust and calmness from the 1 yr old was very touching.

I am glad I went to the temple today. And thank God for the perfect timing!

Interesting Conversation

I was in the Sauna today, eyes closed feeling my sweat dripped down my nose. Suddenly I got distracted by two lovely ladies talking and I started enjoying their conversation.

Hey... after long time I saw you in the gym! How have you been after your knee operation?' says the younger one.
'Oh, the knee? I have that next in line. I just got my hip replaced'. Says the other. Well, I could not stop from opening my eyes.

In India I heard stories of grandmothers hurting their hips in very very old age like 75+ and after that they are bed ridden. But here I see one such grandmother... hip replaced? And she is in the gym? in a swimming costume? in the sauna?

One of the ladies was in her fifties may be and the other older, well you should guess her age. Wait till I tell the story.

Younger Lady - 'But I thought you told me about your knee?'
Older Lady - 'Yes I did. But my doctor said I need to fix my hip first' and she raises her hands making a funny face with an expression of - what can I say? I noticed a mark near her hip, a deep long scar from her operation I knew.

Older Lady - '6 months back I had booked my flight to Germany and was to travel in couple of days. That evening I tried standing up and just could not stand. My daughter came down and took me to emergency. I was there for 1 week. The doctor was very good.'
She points to me seeing how curiously I was listening to her.

Older Lady - 'Are you an Indian? My doctor was an Indian too. She even helped me get my money back from Lufthansa. How could I travel in two days? She helped produce proofs that it was impossible for me to travel to Germany. Normally the airlines keep part of the money but they gave me everything. Everything! Tickets are very expensive you know, 800-850. Got whole amount. Right now I told the doctor, I need a break.'

Younger Lady - 'Break? From what?'

Older Lady - 'From hospitals, operations, therapies! Recently my son looked at flight tickets and they were approx 400. Half the price!' and she smiles with amazement. 'You know, whatever bad happens, has a good side to it too'

And she slowly put both her feet on the bench. From her movement it seemed that she was not very flexible. They talked about her knee for sometime. From their conversations, I could figure out that they were gym buddies; you know how you meet same people every time you go to gym and they become your friends? Wonder how I don't have any yet?

Younger Lady - 'Why don't you use a cane?'
Older Lady - 'My sister died two years back and she had two canes. My niece said that I use one and other she would keep.'

Younger Lady - 'Why didn't you take it? Are you looking to have boyfriends?' And both started laughing out load.
Older Lady - 'No! I don't need boyfriends.' She turned to me; she knew she had a new audience now and said, 'I don't have time for them.' And we all laughed.

Younger Lady - 'You will make your knee worse if you don't use it'.
Older Lady - 'You got it right on that one. The cane is in Germany. I will get it when I go next.'
Younger Lady - 'You can buy here itself.'
Older Lady - 'Then I need to buy two. One for outside and one at home. How can I use the same at home? Who will wash them every time?'

Younger Lady - 'You get those twist and turn types where you simply turn in such a way that you can use same one for home without washing.'
Older Lady - 'You got it right on that one.'

This whole conversation may sound just like any other but I was pretty amazed by the old lady who just had an operation few months back and was back to the gym. Her going to the gym itself was little shocking to me. A cultural shock more than anything. At one instance she told her age as 78. Are you kidding me?

Can I even imagine one of my 78 year old relative in her place? As you turn 60-65, people put their hands up and retire. Not just from professional work, but from everything else too. Their knees hurt, their back hurt, they can't climb stairs no longer, they can't cook no longer unless absolutely essential. They don't like to socialize; they believe their so called time for fun is up! And it is not just the old; the young feel the same too. We need maids to do the chores, we hate walking to a store, we just want to sit in front of the TV, eat, talk and relax after work. As I sat there admiring her courage and the way she took care of herself, I hoped secretly that if I live till 78, I be as active as her.

Older Lady - 'You know I traveled to Germany every year. Even two times a year sometimes. All by myself and soon I am going to plan my next visit.'
Younger Lady - 'You should ask your children to accompany you this time tough. You know, it is not the same.'
Older Lady - 'You got it right on this one. My son said, "Mother, I will take you to Germany, you cannot go alone". '

Soon, I saw her lie down on the bench enjoying the Sauna bath. I was afraid she may fall down and may hurt her hip again. May be this is our basic Indian mentality? We are cautious about everything. Sometimes over cautious.

I left for a swim and what do I see? In some time, I see the same old lady doing some aerobic exercises in the pool lane next to mine. She even started swimming for short distances; even did a couple of backstrokes.

She got it right this time! Hats off to the youngster in the old one.

Moving Mania

Just realizing how painful all the shifting can be. I am moving to another apartment over the weekend and right now struggling to get things packed.

My house is in such a big mess right now. I have put an Ad on craigs to sell off some of the furniture. I know it is going to be embarrassing even to get strangers home to take away the stuff. Anyway! I don't have much choice right now.

Only thing that is motivating me to give away things and moving from 'my home' is that it means it is going to be yet a new beginning; things to do right from the beginning; get stuff you 'like' and less you 'need'; know a new locality; make new friends and meet more people.

This has not been the first time I am packing and shifting. For some reason, I am the last one to move out of an apartment (be it with roommates or as a family). Each time there have been new challenges and same old chaos.

The first time I was faced with this situation was when I was traveling from Mangalore to NJ. We were 3 gals staying together and obviously being the last one to move meant finding new rommates, move stuff, settling the accounts (which is the worst of all). At the time I felt helpless and had the 'why me' question to God; or whoever was to be blamed! But little did I know that it was just a beginning. One good thing out of that shifting was I met new people while looking for new roommates and was happy that they crossed my life. Also, since I was traveling to the USA for the first time soon after; the excitement killed all the pain.

Next time was when I was going back from NJ to Mangalore. Again, we were 2-3 roommates and I was the chosen one to do the finishing honors. But I was in good company and had friends to support me. Once again, I was going back to India for a planned courtship (well, me and my friend-now my husband had done the planning); I was very excited.

Next was when I moved with roommates after I returned to Mangalore. My roommates moved out; one went to US, other got married. Again, I was left with the pressure of moving and shifting. But soon I was getting married and YET again the excitement pulled me through it.

Navin and I got married and moved in a lovely apartment. We were just married and every moment spent in the new home was worth the effort it took when I had to pack again. Navin was first to leave to travel to US; I did join him shortly but what that meant was, I had to all the cleaning, moving, packing! My sister and friend helped me out. Once again, I was looking forward to a new beginning with my husband in a new country, I was very excited.

And now here I am again. The same situation and yes the same responsibility. It is a different place and different challenge and a different me too. But no excitement to quote this time. But now, the excitement really doesn't matter to get me going.

Btw, last night I went for "Satsang"; the first ever I attended. For those of you like me who never thought Satsang is 'Cool', it is very cool!
I slept like a baby after 2-3 sleepless nights worrying too much about simple things.

Random Act of Kindness

Random Act of Kindness! Navin gets to hear a lot of 'pravachan' (talk?) from me on this particular phrase. If I am too lazy to get up and get the remote or get a glass of water, I tell him how we should imbibe kindness in our day to day life. He prefers to get me a glass of water than to listen to my non-sense. That's how I get my work done :)

I was in the mall the other day and was ready to checkout at a store. A lady had just finished her billing and was ready to leave. She came right up to me and said, 'Hey, I have a printout for 20% coupon, you can use it!'. Well, eh, sure! Sweet! Such treats are welcome anytime. So that day I ended by saving additional 20%; all credit to a stranger's act of kindness.

I was at Dominick's super market yesterday. The lady at the counter asked me if I had a Dominick's card? I looked for it in my purse. Nope. I looked again. At one time I used to have 3 cards in my purse but that day I just could not find it. You never get what you want when you want it bad! So what did the lady do? She simply asked the next person in line for her card and whoosh! swiped it for my purchase. I thought it was pretty indecent of her to take the card like that and even before the person could acknowledge or give permission, use it to save me some bucks! But the person in line was very sweet. She smiled back and said 'I too forget my card many times and ask someone else for one.'

The money I saved may have been just a few dollars and not too significant. But the kindness sure made a significant impression on me and left me with immense feeling of happiness that kindness still prevails. Its true, you may not remember how a person looked or what they said to you but you will always remember how they made you feel.

A fun Saturday evening

Weather forecast for saturday was light snow showers and rain. Due to bad weather we decided that we will not have the entire project mates to the party. So it was just few families get-together at our place. I was very excited and looking foward to meet everyone; specially the kids.

It was about 8:30 pm and I was running late. I was busy cleaning the house and getting all set to welcome the guests expected at 9:00 pm. Suddenly it strikes me.. .ah I forgot to get the rotis from the Indian store! Oh my gosh. People are expected anytime, so I could not leave the house. So I called Kripa; 'Need a small favor. Can you pick some rotis from the Indian store on the way to our house?'. I am sure Kripa would have cursed me; giving an unplanned task specially when Shweta( his wife) must have already been running late with the cooking and getting Ashi (their sweet daughter) ready.

But guess what! They decided they would prepare the rotis at home. In no time they prepared tasty parathas. Thanks to Kripa's assistance, Shweta quickly made the parathas and were just 15-20 mins late. Cannot compare the ready-made rotis to the hot, fresh, ghee covered yummy parathas.

Shyju and family were first to arrive. They were the only ones to drive more than 14 miles to our house and were right on time. Hats off... specially with a small kid at home it is tough to meet the deadlines :) Ann (their daughter) was bit unhappy to be woken up from her sleep. Moreover it was so cold to add to the irritation. She cried her heart out as she entered the house. But she was very pleased to get a bunch of cute stuff toys in an attempt to make her quiet.
It did not take much time for her to settle down in the new place. She is the cutest baby and I loved playing with her. Preeti (Ann's mom) made chhola and it smelled delicious.

Next to arrive was Sugu and family. He has 2 sons; Harish and Hrithik. Harish is in grade 1 and very adorable. He is great with kids and loves playing with them. All evening he was playing with the little ones and made sure he entertained them while he was awake. He made himself at home right away.
Hrithik is the quietest baby I have ever seen. He looked very cute in his dogie winter cap. Anu (his mom) made sure he lied down in a comfortable place and he laid there all the time. He woke up, slept, woke up again and slept again :) He was very happy to just be on his own.

Anu made vegetable cutlets. The cutlets were a winner from the start! Sugu claimed he made those but we all knew Sugu cannot lie ;). Anu also made the tastiest vegetable biryani I have eaten. I am not lying.

We missed Venu and Madhuri. Venu was in great spirits on Friday and added excitement on the idea of having a get-together over the weekend. But unfortunately Aryan (their little baby) fell ill and was down with temperature. They are just back from India and it will take a while for the young one to settle down. Hoping to meet Madhuri and Aryan soon.

It was Anu's birthday the following day. I had baked a cake for her. Also Aryan and Ann had recently celebrated their birthdays too. We did the cake cutting. Anu also shared with us a little secret; Sugu gifted her very special diamond pendant! I hope Navin reads this and learns something from Sugu. But I know what he would say; 'See, Sugu took 5+ years to get a pendant. So you can wait a little longer'. :)

There was lots and lots of food! It was a potluck and everyone had made delicious items. Shweta had made paneer capsicum and I could not resist having just one more paratha with paneer sabji every time. Finally I stopped myself with a final half paratha and when Kripa looked at the half eaten paratha, it became a joke; him saying 'How can anyone eat half paratha'! he he Well, what can I say. You have to stop yourself somewhere right? So I decided to stop on one last half!

The kids had a gala time. We decided to play poker. As we laid the poker chips to get started the little monsters made their way right at the poker chips! Well, well, well! What was I thinking when I planned to play poker at the party and got the poker set from Tushar for the event. Frankly speaking I thought the kids would be fast asleep at the time. It was mid-night but the kids were as wide awake like an owl would be.

I am glad no one took the picture of the mess with the poker chips; else Tushar will never share the poker chips with me again ;)
I had a smaller poker set with me. So we gave them to the kids. They played football with the chips and hit and yell with the poker chips while we enjoyed a great game. Preeti took care of the kids while we were playing.
Sugu and Anu were playing for the first time. Everyone had their bit of luck last night. Everyone won a game or two except Sugu. In fact, Anu had an awesome beginner's luck when she almost won the first game. She had a straight! but I dunno why; for some reason I looked at her cards (I was helping her initially) and did not see her chance of winning. And I asked her to quit in the last round! After that she never asked me for help ;)
After an hour or so we decided we would have the last round of poker. Everyone started with big bets. And guess what? Sugu was the winner in the round and so was the one to steal the game. Lucky Sugu! He adds in the end 'I am a champion, you guys didn't know'. I am sure he didn't know either ;)!

After the game of poker, Shyju taught everyone Black Jack! It was very funny actually. While he was explaining, everyone was asking him silly questions. 'Why should I give you money?' 'Why should I add up?' 'But I have more than her, why did I lost against her?'

Finally, the mango pie was awaiting to arrive. After enjoying the tasty desert everybody left.

All in all it was a great evening. Here are a few light moments from that evening.

Shyju playing with Ann's toys :)

Hrithik the cutie pie playing with his elder bro

In the end, Ashi was wide awake while other kids slept

Ann baby!

Shweta will kill me for taking this pic :)

She is a slow eater and was one of the last people to finish dinner

Anu relaxed as her baby was fast asleep

Sweet Harish!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy birthday and belated wishes - Anu, Ann and Aryan

Here is one video taken while the kids having a good time.

Excitement blown away

Tushar, Anees and I were very excited that we would be doing a good cause by donating blood this weekend. Little did we know that some 'unkind' U.S. rules would blow away the act of 'kindness'.

I had donated blood in my office back in India a couple of times too. Donating blood is the least we can do to save lives. And why not do it when we are healthy and young? I got myself registered for Platelet Apheresis at the Heartland Blood Center in Schaumburg. Cancer patients, those receiving organ or bone marrow transplants, victims of traumatic injuries, and patients undergoing open heart surgery require platelet transfusions to survive. Platelets can be stored only for 5 days and hence the need is vast and continuous. Besides, I had not donated platelets anytime; so was curious to know what it is and what the procedure was.

I logged on to the site and read through all the information posted for donors. I made sure I covered all the pre and post donate conditions and precautions listed out there. Person has to be above 18 yrs of age; above 110 pounds; should not have any major diseases mentioned on the site; not have had tattoo in last 1 yr; and hence forth. I did qualify for blood donation and so very excited about the whole idea.

I was not able to get any appointment except for the 7:00 am to 9:00 am slot morning on a Saturday morning. Getting up early for a good cause; sure - why not. I wanted to do it as soon as possible so this Saturday was the earliest I could get else I had to wait for few more weeks. I was surprised at the same time happy to know that all slots were filled; that means many people are involved in this kind deed.

They had mentioned that it is recommended to eat something within the four hours preceding the donation. Now, does that mean I had to eat at 3:00 in the morning? I did not want to take a chance of fainting or trouble the staff in case I felt ill because of not eating after the donation.

The previous night I got Chinese noodles parcelled from one of my favourite restaurants. The quantity was enough for two people! I was very hungry after work so had an early dinner and went to bed. Normally I don't sleep before mid night, but I did not want to miss the appointment; so slept at 8:30 pm itself. Well, that's not it. I also woke up in the middle of the night to eat the rest of my dinner :) I was well-prepared for my task!!!

I reached the blood center few minutes before time. The lady at the reception was very helpful. She started my paper work early even though the office was still not open. She made me fill some information related to medicines I take, illness if any and Travel. Travel? Well, I was not sure why that was needed.
Since it was my first time at the center, I was told that they would not be able to do Platelet Apheresis but can do the Whole blood donation. I was fine. I should have called in earlier and checked on this. But anyway. It would just take 10 minutes now and not 2 long hrs. It would have saved me some time this morning and I could have planned better.

I was directed to go and sit in a small room; I knew this was it. The real deal; time I was waiting for. She went through the form I had entered. Which state in India are you from? I said Goa and spelled it out. "You are going to hate me for this." she said.

What was it? She showed me a book with the rules for eligibility. Against India it was typed 'DEFER'. I did not know what that meant and neither did she know why it was marked deferred for a particular country; specially India where more than 10% immigrants are from India in the U.S. She called her colleague for help. She explained.

Well, the FDA rules say that a person eligible for blood donation should have stayed in the U.S. for at least 3 years from today. That means I should have been the the U.S. since Nov 2005. I was surprised and disappointed at the same time. Who would stay that long in a foreign land? Won't we visit or travel in between? Well, if you have travelled for a period of say 1 week then the time gap should be 1 yr. OMG! I felt bad; and dizzy. Thank God I had had a good meal :)
The lady told me that I should wait for 2 more yrs to donate. What! That was very sad indeed.

Here I am eager to help and some rules in the country are stopping me from helping mankind. I felt very bad and angry on the U.S. rules. Isn't my blood good enough to help someone in the U.S.? I tried to make sense out of it. I knew it was for security reasons and the FDA knows what is best for the people. The lady at the center was very sorry I could not donate; and I was early too. But she said she appreciated my gesture.

Once I was home, I looked up on the site again.
It said - Due to Malarial risk, anyone who has traveled outside the U. S. or Canada should check with Donor Services Staff to determine eligibility. Among others, regions at risk of malaria include most sub-Saharan African and many Asian countries, some states of Mexico, areas in Argentina, Bolivia, Brazil, China, Cost Rica, El Salvador, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Venezuela, Dominican Republic, Haiti and others. Refer to staff for details.

So India fell under the Malaria Area. How I wish India as well as other countries mentioned above were safe like any other healthy countries in the world.

I should have checked with the staff before registering. Someone else could have used my time-slot for donation. Anees and Tushar both did not qualify either. So I got their appointments cancelled so that their trip to the center was saved.

Waking early was good anyways. I now have a story to share and can help people be aware of such rules in the future.